There is a common
psychological principle often used to inspire growth: "Change your thoughts, and you change your life."
This idea suggests that our perception is the architect of our reality. If we
perceive the world as a place of opportunity, our reality reflects that.
However, when this principle is applied to social norms, it reveals a complex
paradox—especially regarding the way society perceives the safety and value of
women.
The Curfew of the Living
In many societies, the "perception"
is that the world after dark is a place of inherent danger for a woman. Because
of this thought process, a specific reality is constructed: one of
restrictions, curfews, and the idea that a woman should not be alone at night.
The intent is often framed as
"protection." The perception is that a person is too valuable or too
vulnerable to navigate the world independently when the sun sets. In this
reality, safety is equated with staying within sight of others.
The Silence of the Dead
This is where we encounter a profound irony that challenges our understanding of "protection." The same social structure that perceives a woman as too "at risk" to walk to a nearby shop alone at night will, with a sense of solemn peace, leave her entirely alone in a graveyard at the end of her life.
This raises a central question for debate: If a person is perceived as too fragile to be alone in the moonlight, why is she suddenly fit to be alone in the earth forever? How do we make sense of a value system that guards a person’s presence in the world so fiercely, yet accepts their total solitude in death?
The Psychological Lens: Why the Paradox Exists
Psychologically, this
contradiction can be explained by the human need for Environmental
Control.
·
In Life: Society perceives a
living person as an active participant whose safety (and reputation) reflects
on the collective. Restricting movement is a way for the community to
"control" the outcome and feel they have fulfilled a duty of care.
·
In Death: The graveyard represents
a space where human control ends. Psychologically, the "risk" is no
longer perceived as social or physical, but spiritual. Once the person is no
longer an active participant in social life, the need for human-enforced "protection"
ceases, and they are handed over to a different reality.
The Islamic Perception: Intrinsic Dignity
To find a middle ground,
we can look at the Islamic perspective, which
distinguishes between cultural habits and spiritual truths.
·
Intrinsic Value: In
Islam, a person’s value is not a "fragile object" that can be lost or
damaged by being alone. It is an intrinsic quality of the soul (Ruh).
·
The Reality of Autonomy: Islamic history reminds us that the "perception" of
women as shut-ins is a modern cultural shift, not a religious requirement.
Historically, women participated in the night prayers at the mosque and
traveled for trade. The Islamic goal is to create a society where a woman can
travel alone, fearing nothing but God—placing the responsibility on the environment to be safe, rather than on the individual to be hidden.
·
Solitude as a Sacred State: From a spiritual lens, being "alone" in the grave is
not abandonment. It is a transition to the care of the Creator. If we believe a
soul is capable of facing the solitude of the afterlife, it implies that the
soul possesses an inherent strength that exists regardless of the time of day
or the presence of a guardian.
Reconciling the Perception
To make sense of this, we
have to look at what we are actually protecting. If we only "protect"
someone when they are alive and in public, are we protecting the person, or are we protecting our own peace of mind?
True value doesn't change when the sun goes
down, nor does it vanish when a person is laid to rest. If we can trust a
person to the eternal solitude of the grave, perhaps the more logical
"reality" is to trust their strength and dignity while they are still
walking among us.
Final Thought: If "changing our thoughts changes our life," then
changing our perception of women—from "beings in need of a cage" to
"souls with inherent dignity"—will change the reality of the world
they live in.
